Ep 188 - Women, Worth & Wellness: Rewriting the rules of leadership, money and self-care with Nancy Griffin

What happens when women stop giving themselves away — and start making themselves the priority?

In this powerful and deeply grounded conversation, I’m joined by Nancy Griffin, CEO and Founder of Women, Worth and Wellness, a pioneering organisation supporting women’s financial wellbeing, health, and leadership since the early 1990s.

Together, we explore what it truly means for women to step up and step out — not by doing more, but by valuing themselves as their greatest asset. Nancy shares decades of insight working with women around wealth, wellbeing, partnership dynamics, and leadership, and why health must come before money, not after.

This episode covers:
- Why women’s health, wealth, and leadership must be integrated — not siloed
- How over-giving and self-sacrifice quietly erode women’s confidence and capacity
- The mindset shifts that help women reclaim their worth without guilt
- What truly supportive wealth leadership looks like (and how to spot it)
- Why making yourself the priority isn’t selfish — it’s essential
- How well-resourced women lead differently, live differently, and sleep better

This conversation is a reminder — especially as we enter a new year — that you are your most important asset. When women are supported, resourced, and confident in themselves, their leadership becomes clearer, calmer, and more impactful.

🎧 Tune in for a grounded, empowering conversation about leadership, wellbeing, money, and self-worth — and why none of them should ever be separated.

Contact Nancy at nancy@womenworthwellness.com

Transcript

Welcome to another episode of Get Jasched.I'm really excited to have with me today Nancy Griffin.So Nancy is the CEO and founder of Women, Worth and Wellness.Established in 1994 as a private client wealth advisor for her female clients and their families.And immediately, I already think of the early to mid-'90s as some kind of revolutionary act even that was back then.Uh, but Nancy continues to promote and inspire daring and caring leaders, encouraging them to step up and lead in the world, following in the footsteps from many other powerful women leaders in the past.So, I'm so grateful to have you on today, Nancy.I'm, I'm excited for this conversation.Thanks, Jess, likewise.And thank you for inviting me.This is wonderful.And great that you're doing all the work that you're doing.It is absolutely so, so, so important.So important.Thank you.I appreciate it, and likewise obviously.So for context for listeners and also so I get to nerd out and, and dive into more of it with you, how do you define women's leadership in the work that you do?So especially when tying it to health, wealth and community impact?Very, very simply stepping up and stepping out.Like really knowing that you are worthy to make yourself the best asset that you possibly can be.And that means that you need to make your health your triple A one priority, because we take our health for granted, we head out and we keep going until something slows us down.So really if your health is fabulous, know that that's a special privilege and just ask yourself, "How do I, how do I continue to stay healthy?"And make yourself the priority.And then you focus on your wealth, and that whole scenario.Hmm.I love this, I love this conversation already and I love what you're sharing already, because immediately I think of all the women that I know in my life whether they're family or friends who, um, it's almost like we give our health away.Like if we have any extra health or even, you know, even money in some cases, but like if we have any extra health or energy, there's, there's this kind of, um, conditioning, and, and, and I, I feel a little bit removed from it, but it's, I've, I've seen people in my close family go through this where if there's anything extra we have, it's immediately like we need to go, "Oh, I'll give that to you.Oh, I'll pass that on to you."And, and it's something that I've been thinking about recently too, where it's like, oh, what if we, what would, what would happen if we didn't?Like it's, there's a difference between sharing and giving, and giving 0 of ourselves to the point of, you know, like you sort of inferred, that maybe we, maybe we don't feel as healthy and, and then we, we don't have the same resources to have that impact on the world.It's almost like we validate our, our, uh, worth by making everybody else the priority.Mm-hmm.When in fact that is, you know, we can still do that, and we can even do a better job doing that if we make sure that we're the best that we can be first.Yeah.Really.And then be thoughtful about how much you are doing, and is there any way somebody else could do some of this?You know, when you're in a partnership relationship or when you've got kids, sometimes the best thing that you can do as a leader is help other people become leaders.And that means that you're not gonna do it all.It means that you're gonna ask somebody else if they wouldn't mind taking on this responsibility.And of course when they take it on and they do it, they're not gonna do it the way you would do it- Yep.but so what?So what if done, like, it could, and it could be as simple as like the compulsion to just go, "I'll just empty the dishwasher.I'll just get it done."" 'cause then it's done."It's like, oh, or what if what if I just let someone else do it and just- Correct.I don't have to swoop in there and kind of, it's almost, it, this isn't an accusation for any women or, like ever, but like it's almost like this, um, version of saviorism where it's like, well, I've gotta get it done and look how quickly I can get it done.Correct.It's like what if, like what if we actually just gave space and, and let- Yes.other people learn how to stack the dishwasher, and if it's different then it's different and it doesn't matter because it's done and we haven't had to do it?Like very simple thing- Exactly.but you know, I think it's relatable in that way.Definitely.And you're spot on about the '90s 'cause that really was a, really was a decade of transformation.Mm-hmm.And a lot of our partners are ones who were brought up by moms, so did do it all.Yeah.And so they're used to it being done by someone else all the time.They don't think twice, and they will continue to think that way unless you take the bull by the horns and say, "Uh, excuse me, would you mind, would this be a reasonable request for you to unload the dishwasher?"Yeah.Something like that.You know?Yeah.Yep, can you take this responsibility so I don't even need to ask you?Right.And, and we're kind of getting into more like r- you know relational gender roles, but I think this is part of it as like so many of us like exactly as you said have been conditioned- Right.not through blame or through fault- No.but just conditioned-because that's just how it was in the '90s.Exactly.I remember enough to, to, to know that it was that sort of shifting and that transformation but, you know, i- imagine how much, how much happier relationships now would be- Right.if there wasn't that lingering conditioning, you know, on either side of the relationship.It's, uhRight.And don't expect that person to notice that maybe they should be offering to be helpful.Hmm.Because they may, that may not even be the, anything that would come into their mind.So sometimes you've gotta take the lead and you've got to say, "Would you mind?Is this something that, you know"And then once they get it, they say, "Of course.I can do that."Hmm."No problem.No problem."Yeah."Wonderful."Oh, exactly.So I'm really curious, can you share the moment or the, the reason or the season or the, the, the, whatever it was for you where you realized women's health and wellness needed to be talked about together rather than separately?Well, I was recruited into the wealth management business in 1992 and so once you get started, you've gotta have all your licenses.Mm-hmm.And you're with a great company that has a great training program and it looks like, okay, let's go.And then they say, "Okay, Nancy.Everything's go except there's one small problem here and that is you've gotta go find your own clients.We don't have clients for you."It's like, "Okay."But part of the training was who you wanna work with as clients.Mm-hmm.Like, this is who you're gonna track after.People who you think you can add value to their lives over a long period of time because it's gonna be a long, long, long relationship.Mm-hmm.And those people need to be ones that you care about, that you're gonna bring your best forward to help them be their best.Yeah.And so that's when I thought I'd already been through quite a bit myself, um, and so I thought, "Okay, I'm gonna focus on women."Not exclusively but primarily.Mm-hmm.So one of the investment firms that I was working with that, um, offered up a program, a marketing program, it was called Investing in Yourself.So they had all the marketing materials.All I had to do was organize an event, which I did.And I had over 150 women show up 'cause women come in packs, as you know.Oh, yeah, we do.We, like, "I need a friend to come with me.I'm not going to this place alone," likeExactly.Exactly.And the sweet timing for me was that first Saturday in November.Oh.Because it's after Halloween and kids are in school.And it's not yet Christmas and so there's, there's just that moment in time.So now I've got all these prospects so the next step is you gotta meet with them all.So you start to meet with people and start to talk about putting together a wealth plan.Well, very simply you realize these women really can't move off the mark in terms of focusing on money 'cause they're bogged down with all the responsibilities within their household.Mm-hmm.And it's like every mom is expected to be a nurse practitioner.And I'm thinking, "What do these women know about health?I don't know.I'll go to an expert."So that's when I started to partner with not-for-profit health-related organizations focusing on women's health.In Toronto we have a hospital called Women's College Hospital, over 100 years old, and that's their exclusive business with research and programs and treatment and so I immediately partnered with them.And they're doing all sorts of different events so I would simply invite my clients and their friends.I would charge them a nominal amount like $25 or $50 so you're starting to introduce charitable giving as part of enhancing net worth because it's a deduction from your tax return.Mm-hmm.But then equally important, if you're in a position to give, then it enhances your self-worth and so, you know, you really gradually start to introduce a lot.I did with the Heart & Stroke Foundation, we have got a great cancer center in Toronto, so I did it with all sorts of different organizations.Very same idea but the whole purpose of the exercise was to increase women's awareness about whatever that situation is, health related, but equally important, they now have contacts to go back to if they have questions 'cause you can't just phone up your doctor with a quick question, "Could you answer blah, blah?"And Google doesn't give you all the answers and- And you can't trust it anyway if it does.Like you're like- Exactly."Well, it might not be this though."No.Exactly.So just starting to build a whole roster of resources that are there for these women.But the '90s also, especially in North America, as women were gaining more, um, power with the money that they were earning, it also was a time when women were learning how to play golf.Yeah.And soIt's like, "I gotta get out there.These guys are having too much fun and they're doing- Yeah.business at the same time."Exactly.It's, it's soIt was so exclusionary to, "Oh, we do deals on the golf course."Right.Right.So I organized the first women's golf tournament with this women's college hospital.Had 32 golfers, which was a big deal.You were happy that 32 came.But then 2 years later I had 144, and that's the- Wow.full complement, because it's like, "Wow, this is amazing."And I had, um, a pro that we have in Canada who'd won LPG for, I think 3 times.Oh.So she was revered, so she came and did a golf clinic.And thenBut thereIt's all part of the whole women's college hospital community.Yeah.And so women are having some fun, they're learning how to golf, they're raising money for the hospital.And it's like you create a whole community.And, uh, so we just went on from there, but really as I started to build wealth plans for individuals, we really focused on health first.Wow.Because women have so many responsibilities that they, you know, to the, what we just discussed about, that, excuse me, you've gotta be well in order to handle all of those responsibilities.Yeah.Uh, uh, there's so many layers that I wanna dive into there.Like I love that idea of the, of the golf clinic.So it was a women's only, only tournament that you all also had an opportunity- I think, I think we had one foursome of men.Oh, wow.Who we gladly, who we gladly accepted, 'cause there's nothing wrong with a few ambassadors- Exactly.being champions for what we're up to.Exactly.And did you find that that went well?Like that they- Oh, very well.Oh, I- Uh, at the- I was gonna say, I'm like, did they integrate it well?But that's not the wording or the meaning I mean.But yeah.Yeah.No, we had a sprinkle of diversity.Just a sprinkle.Just a sprinkle.But during the '90s with the investment companies- Yeah.they could give all sorts of gifts and donations and whatever.We had so many prizes.We had to have 3 levels of winners at the end to get rid of all this stuff.Now, with all sorts of respec- restrictions with compliance and all those sorts of things, you would be lucky to have one golf ball to give to anybody.Yeah.I mean, the times have changed considerably.Mm-hmm.But my assistant at the time, I said, "We've gotta come up with all kinds of prizes, or all kinds of, uh, categories to get rid of all this stuff, 'cause we're not gonna schlep it all home.Like we don't need any more golf bags."SoBut it- That's incredible.was so much fun.That's incredible though is so much support and, and buy-in- Really there was.from, it sounds like from the get-go as well.It was.It was.It really was.It was terrific.Really terrific.Yeah.That'sThat is incredible.Like think about if likeI run events and if I tried to do an event like that today, it would, it would be s-It wouldDo you actuallyThat's a good question, because do you seeWhat are the differences you see about doing these things in the '90s?And we kind ofW- we know the '90s and, and what that was all about and the challenges that would've been there.Do you see a difference or similarities to doing those things today, in terms of support for or pushback or just any challenges to get buy-in from people these days in comparison?Well, then it was fairly unique.Hm.So it was kinda one-off so everybody kinda swoops in.Yeah.Now there are all kinds of things like that.But a terrific event.This, um, one fella who sponsored a lot of my events, um, during COVID I read an article in the New York Times that there was a big focus on YOLO, like you only live once.Yeah.So I said, "Let's do some YOLO events."So what we did was we went to a women's business- Hm.and we asked 4 women in leadership roles to be the guest speakers."And each one, take 10 minutes and tell us your YOLO."And nobody interviewed them, and that was the key to success.Yeah.'Cause normally when you're talking to somebody you're, you know, kinda directing the conversation.This was, "Take 10 minutes and tell us who you are."Well, I'm telling you, any woman who's given 10 minutes to speak un- uninterruptedly with an audience, she's won the lottery.Oh, yes.Why do you think I have a podcast?Like it's like- So I ended upHere you go.See?Oh, wow.My friend found that at a garage sale, I think.But anyway, we ended up doing 5.Okay.Because the first one we did, there were women in the audience who said, "Nancy, if you're doing this again, I'd like to be one of those guest speakers."Hm.Mm-hmm.So we just kept it going.We'd pick another women business location and we've got 4 speakers, and pretty simple agenda, pretty simple.But it was so powerful.And the thing is, we found out things about people, you know, women that we had known, that we never would have known, you know, X, Y, and Z if, if that person hadn't shared that vulnerable aspect of their wellbeing, that they really wanted us to know about.Mm-hmm.I'll tell you one great example.This one was really cute.Um, this woman's at home during COVID-She always wanted to be a baker.She always wanted her own bake shop.So she started baking like there was no tomorrow.Well, across from her, uh, townhouse was a fire station, so who's going to eat all this stuff?So she would deliver it to them.Huh.Anyway, today she's got her own bake shop, all these firemen- Yeah.c- they couldn't chop it down fast enough.And it was- Of course, like emergency services, they, they need the fuel, like you know, theyExactly.Wow.So the simp- so the simplest idea, the simplest idea- Mm-hmm.can be the most powerful.That, that is, that includes a lot of people.Yeah.Not just, you know, you running the guest speaker and then this one and then that one.Yeah.So lots of fun, lots of fun.I love also what you said about, you know, there were aspects of, of, ofThere's aspects of people, and women in particular, that aren't always shared and, you know, naturally because m- sometimes it's just not a reason for it to come up.But when, when women are given space to just share we learn so much and there's so much richness in that.And I specifically say women because historically we have not been given the same space, soRight, right.Like yeah, when, when, when we are given that space to be like, "What's really important to you about"and like, you know, directed enough to prompt them, but giving that space to go, "What's really important to you about your wellbeing?What makes you feel really well?"Right.I see that doing several things.It, it al- as you said, it allows them to share potentially something that no one knew before because- Right.there just wasn't space to.But it also allows for the self-inquiry and the checking in of, whether it's the woman speaking or the people listening, going, "Oh, what would my answer be?"Which then immediately opens up the curiosity that I think prompts people to actually start to try things that, if they hadn't- Yes.really given themselves that space or time to.Exactly.No, and it was just, you know, tellAnd, and not everybody in the audience knew one another, so it wasn't necessarily a familiar group.Yeah.So basically, "Take 10 minutes and tell us who you are."Like YOLO.Yeah.And start wherever you want.Like start last week or start 50 years ago, I don't know, but just tell us.And of course that's when you heard all the twists and turns and all the challenges and, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah.It was terrific.It really, really was.Uh, just a simple idea that we repeated several times.Yeah.I think that's so special.That's, that's such a great idea.Um, are there any common, you know, stories or mental scripts that you hear all the time from women about money or worth or wellbeing or being a good person that is inherently holding them back?Well, as it pertains to wealth, people never feel that they've got enough money, number one.And number 2, they don't feel that they have a good understanding of all the possibilities.So with those 2 things in mind they often just avoid the whole situation, which is the biggest mistake of all.Like step up and step out and start into it.Like really, really, really lean into it.Mm-hmm.Because all you're doing is finding a way to work with professionals to enhance your number one asset, which is you.Mm-hmm.And nobody's gonna do that for you.You have to do it yourself.Women don't want to be selfish.They never want to be seen to be selfish.But you have to be selfish because you are worthy of making yourself the triple A one priority, so that you can give that much more to everybody else.Yeah.You never wanna be a liability 'cause if you're a liability then other people are missing out, including you.Yeah.And I think it's also, it's this element of there's, there's sort of 2 factors to that.It's, it's enough that we feel good, like that gets to be reason enough.And also, uh, generally speaking, as you said, women do want to be giving to the people around them 'cause that's, you know, like generally speaking, that's- Who we are.who we are.That's who we are.And we can't do that if we're not, if, if we're just expending energy and not, not allowing ourselves to just have this sense of self and this sense of wholeness in, in who we are, because otherwise it just becomes, and, and we look historically, we know, and even the risk of that happening now still, you know, of it just becomes, oh, we exist to serve others.But that makes me think, like that I have visuals of like that leaves us just as husks of human beings.And that's not what we're here for.Yeah.No.No.And you know the difference in a person when they have made themselves the priority to be the best they can be.You can see that 'cause it's a whole level of confidence that's presented- Yeah.because they know they've got their act together.They know they're doing their best and they're working with professional advisors- Yeah.to help them get their whole act, uh, together.The logo for Women Worth and Wellness is arms up in the air like this and standing on a hill.Like, "I got it."Like, "I got it."Yeah.It's all together.And that doesn't mean that it will always be together, you gotta have regular reviews.Mm-hmm.But you have to make yourself the number one priority because your life is your number one asset.Yeah.We are the, we're the ones we spend the most time withCorrect.Yeah.That's an understatement, right?Yeah.W- we spend, like I spend the most time with me and you spend the most time with you.Yeah.So why, yeah, why would we settle for, uh, for feeling l- less than or feeling depleted so much of the time?Um, so you- And not taking it, not taking it seriously.Yeah.Yeah.And, and I think it's, even for me, I mean, I, I work in a lot of, in a different way, but I work in a lot of these areas and I still have to remind myself of like- Right.oh, like, uh, oh, you know?And- Yeah.and I think that's okay as well.But you mentioned also, you know, getting, getting, um, the information and, uh, going to a professional to come give you that information and that advice.I know for a lot of women, a lot of us, you know, it's felt kind of like gatekept advice that's only for, you know, it's for men, it's for professional men.It's not f- it's not for women, you're just playing, you're, you're playing make believe.But what do you say to women to help them feel more confident to, to go out and ask the questions that we sometimes don't have the answers to b- and, and sometimes we feel like we need the answers to before we even ask the question?Exactly.Because in asking questions, you indicate how much you don't know.Mm-hmm.And no women, no woman wants to look like they don't know.It's like, how could you not know?You know, really.Uh, but d- never mind.Just know that you're worthy.Know that you've got a right to head out.Oh, yeah.And if you head out to somebody and it's a bad experience, don't shut down.Keep looking.Ask friends, family, who are you working with, how well are they serving you.Um, I'm a certified financial planner.I'm not sure if that's a global, I know it's in the US, it's North American, but there will be professional designations in your midst and just dial them up.You know, I encourage people to go CFP Near Me.2 or 3 will come up, check them out, lower the microscope.That person looks like it might be worthwhile.Book an appointment.They'll be delighted- Yeah.to meet you.Yeah.And then ask them a lot of questions about how they do business, what are their priorities in terms of outreach to their clients- Mm-hmm.before you share any of your personal information.I mean, obviously you'll need to if you decide you're gonna work with that person, but just get a feeling for who they are and you can also ask for references.Yeah.So do your work, but get in the middle of it.You can't afford not to get in the middle of it.And a proper wealth advisor will also have anticipated health-related challenges- Mm-hmm.in that total wealth plan.So if you're focusing on investments only and retirement only, that's not enough.What happens if you have a critical illness?What happens if you have a disability?What happens if you have premature death and somebody's counting on your income?All of those questions, a proper wealth advisor will ask.Yeah.They'll ask you the what ifs."Have you thought about this?"And, you know, all the way along.Um, recently, I was working, or a, a friend of mine was a trustee for a young person.The young person turned 18, so he took him in to meet with the wealth advisor who had been managing the whole portfolio up until that point.The wealth advisor said to the 18-year-old, "I will be delighted to work with you and look after you, but I have 2 requirements.One is you must have a current will-"" and estate plan, and number 2, you must have an accountant with whom you're working."I thought, "Oh my goodness, that is amazing," because talking to an 18-year-old about an estate plan-is rocket science.Because- Yeah.the people who are 75 still don't wanna talk about it.So I thought that was really, really great.Yeah.It also gets them to think about, like, it, it's not to drag them down, but it's- No.it's to get them to really start to, 18 is hard.Like, it's, I think it's a, you know, it's, it, for many people it's, it's a slow progression of realization of the weight of things.But if it starts there, then, then that actually gets, you know, this 18-year-old to start to really consider, even if it's in the back of their mind- Right.the weight of some of their decisions.Exactly.And they'll- Even if it's in the back of their mind, like it's still- Yeah.gonna be starting to inform how they make decisions in that way.Exactly.I think it, it, I think they will be so smart- Mm-hmm.about going forward into their future in an, in a completely new and different way.Yeah.'Cause it will.You're right, it's in the back of their mind.Yep.Yeah.I also, I love what you were saying about basically doing a vibe check with the person that you're, you know- Right.like, you're vetting them, you're- Right.it's, I think sometimes we go into, you know, these appointments, for example, of someone who is qualified in something that we might not have much of an idea about, and it feels intimidating, and- Right.it's like, "Oh, I need to please them," and there's almost this, like, "Oh, I wanna do a good j-" Like, maybe this is me, but, like, "I wanna do a good job."Like, uh, like, you know, "I wanna please them."But I think it's so important to allow ourselves exactly as you said, to ask the questions, to, to get a vibe of who they are, and, and, and really check in if, also if we feel respected.Correct.Like, I always think about, um, I bought a new car a couple of years ago, and it's the first new car that I've bought, and it was circumstantially needed to happen.But I was a little, um, not intimidated, but I was a little concerned about going to the, the car yards, to, like, to, to the actual car yards, 'cause that's like, "I don't wanna be sold to, I don't wanna be spoken down to."Like, "I'm a woman, and I know how this can go."Right.Right.And, and I'm not putting that on anyone immediately, but I'm just, I'm, I'm vigilant in that way of- Yes.I know how this can go.I went to one 'cause I thought I was gonna buy that kind of car, and honestly, I, it, I, I really would've bought that kind of car.But they just weren't helpful.They, they weren't trying to sell me, but they also won't, didn't give me any information.They're like, "Oh, here.Test drive this," and not telling me anything about the features of the car.And my previous car was so old that any new car felt like a spaceship.Like, I could drive-but, like, any, any new car feels like a spaceship because my old car was so old.Right.So it was like, "Oh, I'm, okay, I'm gonna go here on this test drive, but, but you're not telling me how to get the most out of this.You're not giving me any guidance."And that felt like a no.And then when, when I went to a different, um, make of car, like a different brand, walked in, and I just, I, I knew I had the energy.I didn't say this, but I had the energy of, like, "I don't wanna be sold to, just, I want the information though."Right.Right.And, and I got the information, and I, you know- Wonderful.even if they were trying to sell me.But it was this, "Oh, I feel like you've provided, you've respected me enough to provide information-" Right.Right." for me to make an informed decision."Correct.You know- And always remember that you're the client, you're the customer.Yeah.And if they try to intimidate you or not answer your questions, oh, well, then you're, m- move on.Yep, you leave.Move on, move on.I think that's such a good reminder that you've shared with, with- Mm-hmm.everyone, just to get, really have that remembrance of, yes, we are always the customer.And it doesn't mean we go in arrogant and rude either.But there needs to be a mutual respect, and even if it's an area that we don't know anything about, if- Exactly.yeah, it, we need to know that, that our, our questions, our silly questions are going to be- No.answered and respected.Right.Take your time.Mm-hmm.It's not a fire.There's no fire.Yeah.Take your time.Yeah.There's no fire.So how do you, how do you see women who are well-resourced, whether that's emotionally, physically, financially, all of the above, how do you see them lead differently and, and, and carry out their lives differently versus women who, who are, I guess, depleted, we, as we've sort of said?I think picking the right person to work with makes a million, a million reasons why that is a key to success.And I'll share an example with you.We had a good friend staying with us this summer.And she spends a lot of her time, um, south, here, you know, in the Caribbean.And so of course, when she's there, markets go up, markets go down.It's like, "You know, do I need to be doing anything?"Well, no, you really don't.But at the same time, you need to check in with your advisor.So she came to stay with us this summer and she said, "Nancy, I've got a Zoom scheduled with my guy."I know her well, I know him well.She said, "I would like you to listen to the conversation so I can sit off to the side and hear the interaction."So away we go, he comes on."How are you doing?"Blah, blah, blah, blah.And she said, "Well, the market seems to be, you know, volatile now and again.Um, how am I doing?"He said, "I want you to know that at any given point in time, I have always set aside 3 years worth of monthlies for you.Which means that I continue to top this up.So you've always got 3 years looked after."And then he said, "Okay.We're taking some profits"This is her retirement account."We're taking some profits from your open investment account 'cause they've exceeded our targets."Mm-hmm.He tells her specifically which ones he's taking money from.Because often as a retiree, you end up at a cocktail reception and people start talking about investments.And the last thing you wanna do is stand there and look like you haven't got a clue what you own or- Yeah.You know, really.And you know, as part of the conversation.So he tells her specifics.Mm-hmm.And then he said, "Those profits I want to take and invest them into"And he mentioned 2 companies by name.So she now knows, somebody says, "Are you invested in the blah blah?"She can say, "Yeah, as a matter my guy just mentioned that he's"You know, so she's knowledgeable.Yeah.And then he said, "I know from time to time you like to take out a lump sum."And she said, "Well, actually I would like to take a lump sum because it's heading into the fall."And he said, "Okay, we've got that set aside for you."So this whole conversation happened back and forth and back and forth and back and forth.At which point in time they're about to start talk about family and weather or whatever.And so I said, "I'm here.I just heard the conversation."And that was exceptional.Yeah.Because he's the trusted advisor.He's very professional.He's well-prepared.He knows his client, what her questions could be, but he's also giving her more information than she's asking for.Mm-hmm.Like, he's really handing it over.And she feels like a million bucks, like she'll sleep well tonight and the whole time she's away.But she checks in with him every 6 months unless something changes.If something changes, then you do it more frequently.But that's what everybody needs to work to have, is that kind of a relationship.So you have a person that you trust as that professional for their expertise, but also, more importantly, they've got your back.They know who you are and they want the best for you.Yeah.Yeah.I think that's so important.I think, I think of my accountant actually, 'cause he runs my business stuff as well.And it's just like-we just check in every quarter and it's, and it always feels so supportive.Good for you.And it's just like, oh, and I can be myself as well.I think that's, for me, that's a really key important part of building these professional relationships, is- Yep.can I be myself?Because I don't wanna pretend.No.No.It's a- Like that depletes me.Pretending depletes me.Right.It's a partnership.It's a partnership.Everybody does their job, which is super.That's the way it's supposed to be.Yeah.Yeah.Exactly.What are youThis is a curiosity question I didn't even have, um, planned.But what do you think about women having, um, there's different names for it, but, uh, excuse my swearing, but you know, women, some women call it like a fuck-off fund or a fuck-you fund or aRight.You know.F you.Yeah.What do you, what do you think about the importance of women having something like that, but how to sort of be in relationship with having that?Because sometimes it can feel like it's like grippy and, and ooh, it's, everything's gonna fall apart so I need to have this, versus it just being a confidence builder?Okay.So I'd take a rewind.Mm-hmm.Because before people partner, they spend a ton of time talking.Talk, talk, talk, talk, talk.You don't partner with somebody until you're pretty confident you know who that person is.Otherwise, you're not gonna commit yourself to them.And so that's why I say you have to keep on talking.Keep on talking.And that's why a wealth advisor is a great catalyst-because sometimes you can't, you, sometimes you can't talk about things that you're concerned about to one another, 'cause neither of you really has the answer.Mm.For example, if you have a line of credit.I think you probably know what that is, where you have an asset.Okay.So you've got a line of credit, and really it should be a joint line of credit, but it should also be a line of credit where both signatures are required for any withdrawal.Mm-hmm.And that just means that you have headed off any vulnerability before it becomes an issue, because in a relationship, the last thing that you wanna do is mistrust your partner.Yeah.As soon as there any sort of tinge of mistrust, then that's tainting the relationship.That really is.And so that's why having these conversations in front of a wealth advisor, where you both can hear what the response is, and you know, that's when you have a lot of fun.Like, you know, "You can't trust that guy or that gal, 'cause I know they're just gonna take the money and run," and, you know, blah, blah, blah.Well, if that's what you're thinking about, then let's make sure thatSo in that case, you don't need the FO money.You don't.Hm.You don't.That's a good point.B- because the FO money is there in case something's gone wrong, meaning you can't trust this person.Hm.You know, they might do something that I don't agree with.So- W- y- sorry, continue.I, no, I was just gonna say, try to keep it as transparent as it possibly can be so that everybody's on the same page.Yeah.Because trust is such a fragile aspect that is so fabulous, but as soon as you start to mistrust somebody, then, you know, life isn't so pleasant.Hm.And I think that's, uh, I think that's a really, that's a really good point.Uh, 'cause we hear stories about financial abuse and, and coercion- Right.as well that a lot of women can get stuck in.And, and, um, a- the, I, I follow a lot of, um, local accounts here that follow domestic violence things, so it's always kind of a, a background awareness for me.But, um, they're always talking about how like the reason that a lot of women feel stuck, maybe it's in a, in an abusive relationship.Right.This is getting to the heavier side, but like in an abusive relationship- Yep.or anything like that is because they, they don't have the financial means to go anywhere, to, you know, even if they, especially if they have kids in tow.Like it's, it's, there's, there's no other option.But I love, I love the lens of if you have the financial advisor or the wealth advisor- Right.they kind of act as, um- The police department.as, yeah, kind of.Like, you know, because they're doing their job, like, you know?But they, they act as, as that mitigation to- Right.someone being able to really do that beyond just having a joint account and then someone draining that account.It's like, oh- Right.you're actually g- got someone else guiding that and holding that process and those, and, and those, um, requirements for you, for both of you, but- Right.because it works either way, but like for you, then it, the nefarious side c- is, is a bit harder to actually happen.Correct.Mm-hmm.But you can see how the scenario unfolds, whereas one person goes to work and the other person stays at home and is, is the- Yeah.home manager, looking after kids and- Yeah.the whole household, and not considered to be as worthy as this person who goes to work and is earning all the money.Well, guess what?This is a partnership.We're in this together.Yeah.But the person who's at home should never ever feel demeaned- Hm.at all.And that's why that person needs to feel worthy of their right to share everything.Yep.But, but this is what you probably would've agreed to when you first partnered.Mm-hmm.It's just that life unfolds and you end up going in different directions.And, "Well, I'll meet with the person 'cause I know you're busy with this," and whatever.Yeah.Make it a priority that you're both present and that you're both working on this together every step of the way, every step of the way.We have, um, we have something called superannuation here, and basically it's mandatory payments into our retirement fund, basic- basically.And, and so if you, if you're in employment, they, the employer has a mandatory requirement to, uh, and it's a certain level.I think at the moment it's 12.5% of your i- of your salary.Okay.That they have to submit into, each year, into your retirement fund.Excellent, excellent.But I think about women, I don't have kids, but I think about women who, who do have kids who stop working and they can't likeThere's that pay discrepancy for women.A lot of it is in the lost income because they're doing the household duties- Right.the caretaking duties and all of that, and they don't have the job that's actually feeding their super.Right.I love seeing the conversations about, um, the partner who is still working putting some of their money into their super as- Yep.as the balance.And it's like, yeah, that makes sense because they're losing out on their retirement fund, on- Right.you know, on this fundamental thing, to, in this case, to grow and have and, and nurture their family.So- Correct.it's over, like, a, I mean, there's, there's a lot I could go into of like what they're doing to their bodies is incredibly valuable.Right.But- Yes.Yeah, it's so valuable.So I love even that conversation where people are starting to have more of those conversations of, "Oh, well-" Wonderful." my partner puts, puts money into my super while I'm on maternity leave."Perfect.Mm-hmm.Perfect, perfect.But it's just- Awesome.you know, you really just have to own your life.Mm-hmm.And you have to own it in a way that you go get the information and you keep getting the information until you're satisfied you've got a really, really good understanding and you've headed off all the vulnerabilities you can possibly think of.But nobody's gonna do that for you.They're not.You gotta work with people to help you get there, but you've gotta drive the bus.You've gotta, you've gotta take the lead.Yeah.Oh, I love this conversation.I could, I feel like I could talk to you about this for hours-because it's just, it's so interesting and I love the work that you're doing and that perspective that you're coming from as well, of, like, we empower ourselves.We don't, we're not, it's not bestowed upon us.It's- Right.But, i- and sometimes it is harder, again, to conditioning or we might be in certain situations, um, that, that limit that ability.But, but whatever steps we can take, I think, is that takeaway for me, is whatever steps we can take to just be informed and inform ourselves.And it doesn't have to be painting the whole picture at once either.No.No.Yeah.No.And mums are very busy.They got lots of things on their mind.But try to put this on your mind as a triple A one priority.And also, again focusing on leadership.If you're doing that sort of thing, then your kids are gonna see you as a role model for stepping up to it all.Yeah.So, go for it.Go for it.I say that, I say that all the time.It's like kids are, are noticing how, like what you're- Yes.modeling, not what you're saying.We know that.Right.Like- Yep, exactly.Kids are noticing how you are treating yourself and how you are giving yourself grace or giving yourself, like empowering yourself rather than- Right.rather than likeWell, they're, they're also noticing if you're depleting yourself.Right.You know, I think of, umWell, obviously we don't celebrate Thanksgiving here, but all, all of the, the pictures from the US Thanksgiving have been recent, and the memes and everything, it's, and it's like the stereotypical, I know this isn't in every case, but the stereotypical, you know, like women are the ones preparing everything and- Right.risking their guts to, you know, to, to- Right, right.prepare everything.Could be the same for Christmas or any holiday.It's like, oh, that is being absorbed.So how you value yourself and your energy in, in regard like, regardless of, of whether it's gendered or otherwise, I- Right.Yeah, that's what I'm taking away is that reminder of, yeah, how we, how we prioritize ourself and our energy and what we need for ourselves for our life.Exactly.It's so important.Exactly.Exactly.And life goes by so fast that you need to bring your best forward every chance you get.Yeah.And that takes work.You know, you gotta think about it.You really do have to think.Otherwise, stuff just happens.You just get swept in- into things that maybe are not the best.So make yourself the priority, and then you're making choices that you've given some thought to.Yeah.And I imagine that obviously the sooner is, sooner is better, but- Oh, definitely.there's probably, you know, it's probably an element of never too late though.Like, you know?Correct.Yeah.Oh.Exactly.Exactly.Such good advice, such good reminders.Thank you so much, Nancy.Um- My pleasure.how can, how can people find you, uh, follow you, or any of that- The best-I'll include all the links in the show notes, but yeah, let us know.The best thing is s- tell them to send me an email.And then you go into our database.And then you will be kept up to date in whatever we're up to.We're on all the social media, but, uh, the database kind of gives you info about what in the world's going on in the world of women, worth, and wellness.And my email is very simply Nancy, N-A-N-C-Y, @womenworthwellness.com.Easy.Nancy@womenworthwellness.com.So, send me an email, say, "Merry Christmas, happy holidays," whatever, and then you're-in the database, and then away we go.Amazing.Oh, thank you so much for your time and for sharing and for uplifting us all with this reminder.I feel, um, yeah, I feel like that's such, there's such good value in that, and just a great reminder as we head into a new year and, and maybe look at doing things that are a bit more nurturing for each of us as well.And just make yourself the priority, really.Like think, "What do I need to do so that I feel like, wow, I'm on top of my game.I'm on top of my game."Yeah."What do I need to do in order that I can feel that way?"And then things start to fall into place.But, you know, I just keep saying, "Make yourself the priority and the rest will be fabulous."It, it just comes through in so many ways that you've got your act together, you know, you're not, you're not spinning in circles and, you know, getting too upset and angry and all those things that are not so great.Mm-hmm.Yeah.It, it removes a lot of that, um, the- Busyness.the busyness and the question marks, even if it's not all of the question marks.It's like, oh- Right.there's, there's unnecessary question marks here though.Yeah.Right.Slow yourself down so you can go faster.yeah.Incredible.Thank you so much.I really appreciate you and- Thank you.for sharing.It's been lovely.Excellent.Well, likewise, Jess, and, uh, thank you for including me in your podcast.My pleasure.My pleasure.Keep up all your great work.Thank you.