Ep 174 - Somatics & Stress: Co-regulating nervous systems with Stacey Louise

Burnout, reactivity, overwhelm are not just about workload. And they don't just happen to adults. It’s a nervous system response, and there are plenty of environments where this work is so helpful in order to navigate fear. In this guest conversation with Stacey Louise, owner of Calm Fairies and a yoga therapist in children's hospital wards, we hear about her experiences helping children navigate stress and fear in medical settings. With this information, we dive into how somatic awareness and regulation can change how you lead, respond, and relate, especially under pressure. 

Connect with Stacey at:

www.calmfairies.com.au - to find out more about the Calm Fairies volunteer program, where there is a Calm Fairy in a hospital near you, and to find details the app with free videos and resources to help kids in hospital (also in App stores)

www.inspiredkidsyoga.com.au - for parents and educators to access short, easy tools within online courses.

#SomaticLeadership #StressResilience #LeadershipWellbeing

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Got a thought or story to share? Reach out via Instagram at @j_.leigh , on LinkedIn at Jess Jasch, or https://j-leigh.com.au/ - I’d love to hear from you!

Interested in booking a free consult to discuss wellbeing consulting, or embodied leadership coaching for you or your team? Book your time here: https://calendly.com/jess-jasch/book-zoom-now

Transcript

Hey, everyone.Welcome to another episode of Get Jasched.I'm very excited for this one because I have my dear, dear friend with me, Stacey Louise.StaceyOh, my gosh.Stacey is the founder of Calm Fairies and one of Australia's most experienced children's yoga teachers.For over 20 years, Stacey has shared nervous system regulation tools with kids and teens in hospital, created the Calm Fairies app, which we'll get into at some point in this conversation, and trained hundreds of educators and professionals to bring calm, trauma-aware practices to children.S- she's now launching a volunteer program to expand this work even further, and I've said it to you a million times personally, but let me say it publicly, thank you for your work and the gift that you bring to the world.Thank you, Jess, for such a full introduction.And it's just so amazing that in our work we get to have these kind of conversations, and it just happens to be that we're, like, best of friends as well.So, it's a bonus that you're- I know.in your work day today.I know.This is so fun, cause we kind of get to just nerd out a little bit, but on, like, work time.And I don't know, that feels really good to me.So, for a little bit of context, I wasn't necessarily gonna do this, but for a little bit of context for anyone else that doesn't know us, um, Stacey and I met because she was my first yoga teacher.Mm-hmm.So, that was, oh, goodness.That was 11 and a half years ago.And I walked into her Monday night class cause I'd just moved to town a few months before, and I was like, Cool.This is walking distance.This is what I'm gonna do, and I never left.Um, and even though we've both kind of, like, moved on from that time and that class and everything, I still haven't left.So, thank you for keeping me around as well.Thank you for continuing to hang around.I love hanging, having you in my circle.Yeah.So, it's, it's nice because I know what it's like to have you as a teacher.You were one of my yoga teacher trainers as well.You taught me how to teach yoga.Um, so you've taught me a lot and y- you also teach a lot of other people things.So, in the context, we'll start with one question, because this word can come up and it's not necessarily explained when people do use this word.Um, in the context of stress and overwhelm, what does co-regulation mean?Co-regulation is when we lean on someone else who has a regulated nervous system.And in the work that I do, I work with children, predominantly, so what that means when I'm educating educators is to remind them that they need to keep themselves regulated so they can help the children in their care to regulate their emotions.So, when someone is dysregulated, when their nervous system is dysregulated, they need to find, uh, someone else, particularly young people need to find someone else that they can be in the presence of that has a regulated nervous system to help them to find regulation again.Because we know that children can't actually self-regulate until their prefrontal cortex is fully developed, and that is not until the mid-twenties.So, all of this talk in education sector and in disability sector about emotional regulation for children really does come back to co-regulation, which then means that the adults who are with those children need to do the regulation practices themselves to help- Mm-hmm.those children to regulate.And there's a lot of science behind this, like, and research behind this now especially as well.W- what do youLike, what is, for people who are struggling to understand the difference between, um, the concept of, you know, Well, they're just building resilience.They're just, you know, learning.They're figuring out themselves, what's the difference between those things of co-regulation and how that actually helps to develop resilience because they're learning?And I guess, and this is my words, like, the older way of doing things of just letting kids figure it out, but maybe not having those co-regulation, uh, that co-re- regulation access available.Well, when we think about things like letting a child cry it out, often what we are teaching them is a learned helplessness where they're learning that they don't have the support that they need.So, one of our very first primal instincts when we are feeling dysregulated is to actually reach out for help.Our social engaging network is what we need to keep switched on, which means that weThe first thing we need to do is to reach out for help.And if we know that there's no help available to us, we learn very quickly to then shift into our next strategies for survival, which is usually fight, flight, or freeze.So, if a child has continuously learned that no one is there to help them to regulate, they will then do the very best they, they can- Mm-hmm.to regulate themselves.And when someone's regulating themselves, it doesn't always look the way that people think it should look.So, for example, if there is an autistic child trying to regulate themself, that might show as them hitting their head on a desk.It could be that they start getting up and walking around the room or shaking their hands or humming, and an adult might think, Well-They're not actually regulating themselves, but in fact, that's their way of trying to bring regulation back to their system.So if a child doesn't have someone to help them to co-regulate their emotions, they will just do the very best that they can to do it themselves, and that doesn't always lead to resilience.So resilience, I think, can be completely separate from regulation, and in fact, resilience is built when someone is regulated.When, when they have repeated experiences of being regulated, that's when they can find resilience to continue to regulate themselves.Well, that's exactly it, right?Because it's the differentLike, it's, it's rather than the goal being to stay regulated, it's then actually building and developing the tools and recognizing when you're feeling dysregulated, and then helpingLike, learning with repetition how to bring yourself into regulation, because we're human, you know.There's al- there's gonna be moments where, like, we're not gonna become regulated and then stay perfectly regulated forever and ever, amen.Like, unfortunately.Yeah.That's not how it works.Yeah, and you know, one of the, the things that I share with adults when I am teaching them about regulation for children is one of the very first steps of regulation is interoception, which is that ability to look inward and say, How am I feeling?Because if we don't have that ability to look inward and say, How am I feeling?Oh, I don't feel okay, then how can we regulate ourself if we don't even know that we're dysregulated?Mm-hmm.And so that is really where the power of my toolkit comes in, which it has the, the base of yoga practices, mindfulness practices, meditation, breathing practices, because those things teach us interoception.When we practice meditation techniques or breathing techniques, and we check in with how we're feeling on a regular basis when we're doing these kind of practices, we build up that muscle, so to speak, of how to be able to check in.How am I feeling right now?And so to teach children that from a young age is so important, that they can actually realize, I don't feel okay.What do I need to do?And the next step is then to ask for help, usually with an adult, hopefully, who has a regulated nervous system to help them to co-regulate, and then all of the calm strategies can come after that.Hm.But if we miss those first couple of steps, we're asking so much of children to do something that they're usually biologically unable to do.Mm-hmm.That's it, and I think even for the logical brains listening, it almost feels like just the easiest way to kind of accept that information and that knowledge that we know is just coming back to, well, their brains literally aren't formed in that way yet.They're still developing.So, like, just to me, that seems so logical.Like, even if you just narrow it down to th- that, it's like, Oh, okay.That's easy to understand.Yeah.Even if you can't understand a lot of the other emotional elements, it's like, Oh, that's easy to understand.We can't expect all of this.We can't expect adult-level, like, grown-up level emotional responses.Well, I mean, when a lot of grown-ups don't necessarily have that either, but, like, grown-up-level emotional responses from, from children and kids, and even teens who are still literally physically developing that.Yeah, and one of the ways that I describe it to educators or health professionals is to think of it like a house that's under, um, renovation.Yeah.And you know, they've got the hardware there.Their brain is almost at its full size by age 5, so it doesn't have that much more growth in terms of size, but the neural connections aren't all plugged in.So it's like having all the light switches literally on the wall, installed, but the electrician hasn't been in yet to wire it all up yet.Yeah.So you can physically flick the switch on and off, but the light bulb is not going to turn on.Yeah.And- Yeah.I think that's just an easy way to describe that, you know, these children have a- almost a fully sized brain, but there are days where that wiring just simply cannot connect.And- Mm-hmm.particularly if they're going through a developmental leap, or a milestone, or their brain is going through a rewiring period, they might even revert in the things that they used to be able to, uh, handle or be able to do.And then they'll say, But you were able to do that last month.How come you're behaving like this now?And it's because that brain is going through a rewiring process, and some of those neural connections have been unplugged, and- Yeah.you know, they're getting put in different places.So I think having an understanding of how the brain works and how the nervous system works is so important, and as you said, just that basic understanding that anyone under their mid-20s re- literally doesn't have a fully developed prefrontal cortex of their brain, which is the part that regulates our emotions and al- allows us to articulate how we feel when we are dysregulated.And to your point about adults, a lot of adults who haven't been able to regulate themselves is because they probably missed all of that co-regulation during their childhood, or perhaps they've experienced some traumatic events that actually impacted the development of their brain at that point in their life.So when they go through stressful periods, they will revert back to those kind of regulation or dysregulated behaviors that they had in their own childhood.Yeah.Yeah.And I think all of us, in some way, can relate to that feeling of, you know, w- nonspecific events sort of d- being like, Oh, I feel 16 again.Why?Like, you know, Oh, I feelYou know, and it's this confusion ofBut it's just, it's how our brains work, and, and if we can at least be aware of it, we don't all need to be, like, neuroscientists and really understand it, but if we, if we can at least be aware of, Oh, it's probably functioning in a way, then that c- even that can just help.Um, you mentioned that you work with a lot of, uh, or, uh, a specific few of somatic tools and practices, so how do theyWhat are they, and how do they help to support us in stressful experiences or moments?Mm-hmm.For me, learning somatic practicesI mean, yoga itself is a somatic practice, somatic just being movement and being able to move feelings through the body.Um, but for me it was really when I was going through my own traumatic experiences and, and doing work with a therapist, and learning really that I was experiencing a traumatic experience and, and how that showed up in my body, and how that presented in my own dysregulated nervous system.And so diving into trauma studies and sitting with the greats like Dr.Bessel van der Kolk and Dr.Pat Ogden who actually talk about how the body keeps the score, and the body will present with the, the trauma or the stress that someone has undergone.Learning that the practices that we can do don't have to be complex, they don't have to be a whole yoga class or a whole mindfulness session.But things likeAnd I did this with my therapist, this was my homework for quite am- a few months, actually, was using my hands to grip around the opposite wrist and squeezing my forearms so that I could anchor back in my body and get present again, and I would do that when I would feel myself dissociate or feel so much stress that I would kind of leave my body mentally.So this was a way for me to come back to safety within my own body.Mm-hmm.So things like squeezing.With children I'll get them often to squeeze each finger at a time with the opposite hand.It could be things like I, uhOne of the things that I teach educators is to look out for the signs.Are they in fight, flight, or freeze mode?And then what tool can we give them that most matches the- their natural response?So for example, if a child is in flight mode, their nervous system is like, Run.Get me out of here.And they're the child who's probably running around the classroom, climbing up chairs, or really, like, heightened kind of activity where they're moving fast, they're talking fast, they might be yelling.So we wanna find things that replicate the- their natural instincts but- Mm-hmm.keeps them safe and keeps other people safe.So it could be simply things like shaking the hands.It could be things like running on the spot, or doing crossing the midline actions where they're tapping the opposite shoulder, or, um, banging their feet on the ground, banging onto a pillow.If a child is in fight mode, then we look at what are they naturally doing?How do they need to express themself in that mode?Are they someone who needs to hit something?Are they someone who needs to push something over?And so then we find something that's the closest fit to that.So is there a pillow that they can punch into?Is there, um, an object in the playground that they can push to get that heavy pushing action happening?And then if a child's in freeze mode, they're likely to be hiding under the desk or hiding their face, or completely shut down and not talking.So, how do we give them tools to help them to get present again?Can we ask them to look around the classroom to find rainbow colors, for example?Or the one that I just explained, like a self-massage, or one that we do with young children is called the butterfly hug, where we criss-cross the arms and tap the opposite shoulder.And some of these practices are very easy for children to do but when they are dysregulated, again, they need the adult to help guide them through those practices.So, it's one thing to teach a child or an adult-how to do regulating practices, but in the moment of dysregulation, when we're in what some people would call the red zone, or what Dr.Dan Siegel calls flipping the lid, when we've lost that connection with our prefrontal cortex, when we're in, when we're in it, the stress- Mm-hmm.we don't remember all of these amazing things.No, we're not thinking logically.No.And so, that's where we need a regulated person to help us- Mm-hmm.to say, Okay, let's do this together.Or they guide us through the practices that we know will help us.Mm-hmm.So, does that answer your question?Oh, it absolutely does because, um, it's, it's these, it's these toolsWell, I asked you, yeah, like, what are somatic tools and how do they help us?And, and it's these tools that, that we can all access.And I love that you pointed out that, you know, even as adults, we can, we can do that, you know, as friends w- w- this has all hap- oft- h- happened often between us, right?Like, it's, it's this reminder.And I suspect, as adults, sometimes it's even more easily dismissed because it's either we don't understand it or there's shame, al- almost like a version of shame of, Well, I should know that.I should have remembered that.I knowLike, you know, like if it's just, uh, w- one p- one adult, one friend saying to the other, Oh, like, you know, I've done the butterfly hug as an adult.It's so great.Yeah.Like, you know?But if it's something like, Oh, what if you just squeeze your, you know, your opposite arm?And you knew that sometimes there is the, um, some people can experience the shame of, or the sort of the, I should have.I should have remembered that.I know how to take care.And, and that can then reflect out in different ways too be- if they're still in that dysregulation of, of anger or, you know, frustration or whatever it is.Mm-hmm.Um, what are the differences you've noticed or experienced in medical settings?Because, you know, you have worked a long time in children's wards and helping here.So, what are those, what are some of those differences you've noticed?Hm.Differences in the result of using these Yeah.practices?Yeah.Using the tools, like for, for nurses, for parents, for children in whatever context.Hm.There are so many things I could talk about here, so let me just - Yeah, pick one.Which avenue should I go down?Um, so as you mentioned, I have been working in children's hospital wards for 20 years now.So, I started off in mental health and then, um, and that was doing group yoga classes and fitness classes with children in a mental health, uh, ward.And after 7 years of doing weekly classes there, I then relocated and that's when I started my yoga therapy training, and started working one-on-one with children in the hospital room.So, I go to their bedside and I guide them through personalized practices.So, with that in mind, it really again depends on what that particular child or teen is going through in the moment.So, if I'm helping a patient to prepare for a procedure, um, we will go throughUsually I'll have a chat with them about what it is that they're most afraid of or how they're feeling if they are feeling nervous, and get to the bottom of what the fear is.And then take them through some kind of rapport building activity, usually some kind of craft activity or something like that, just so that we've got some rapport, so that when I really dive into the deeper work, which is taking them through a guided meditation, they've got some trust and rapport there with me.And so during that meditation, for example, it might be that I'm guiding them through the scenario which addresses their fears, and they get to experience what it's like to actually go through the thing.So it might be being wheeled into the operating theater, looking at all the bright lights, seeing the surgeon, having the mask put on, and be able to breathe through that.So we do like a practice run whilst they're in a meditative state, so that when they are actually going through that procedure, it's not the first time they've done it.They've just done a run through in their mind.Yeah.So that can often really help with procedural anxiety to help lower that anxiety, and a lot of patients will report that after that they do feel a lot more confident about the procedure they're about to have.Then we've got things like going intoSometimes I go into a procedure room where a child might be getting, say, a nasogastric tube put in, which is a tube that goes up their nose, down their throat, and into their gut, and that's usually for nutritional, um, rehabilitation.So it could be an eating disorder patient or a patient that has, say, severe constipation that needs to have a washout.And with those particular patients, again, I need to have some kind of rapport with them first before I go into those spaces, so that I'm not just adding to the trauma.Yeah.Because otherwise they'll end up with a phobia of a fairy probably, because I dress as a fairy-when I do that work.Um, so I need to make sure that there's some kind of rapport there, and that I can stay with them during the procedure.So my role in those moments is to stay regulated.And to guide them through things like breathing, or mindfulness to help them to stay really present, to validate how they're feeling, and to be able to give them things to cope with whatever experience they're going through, and then to help them down-regulate at the end.And so parents of those children that I have supported are just like, Oh, please, can we have the calm fairy again?Um, they will really sing my praises at the end of that procedure- Mm-hmm.to say, like, That made it a whole lot easier, particularly those frequent flyer patients that have those procedures quite regularly.Um, parents will report that they noticed a difference, that their child isn't as anxious, or that they might recover more quickly after their procedure, that their, I guess, their nervous system can regulate more quickly.Um, a lot of patients will find that doing things that acknowledge the frustration part of their experience can help.So, you know, I've worked with, for example, a teenage boy that was in an accident that wasn't his fault, and so, you know, now he's off football for 12 weeks with a broken leg and he's angry.Oh, yeah.And so if I don't acknowledge that, that very real human emotion of being frustrated and angry, um, and just dance over that and then go, Let's do some nice calm breathing, I'm not addressing his experience.So, you know, for him it might be that I give him some beanbags and he gets to throw them at the wall and say- Yeah.the words that he wants to say out loud, and afterwards he'll be like, Oh, I actually feel better now.Mm-hmm.And now I can engage back with the world again.And now I'm more likely to do my physio exercises, and I'm more likely to take my meds and be more compliant, because I actually feel a bit better about this whole experience.So again, I think it's just about really meeting the patient or the child where they're at-looking at what kind of, uh, experience they're having, how are they dysregulated, if they are, and what is it they need in that moment.And so the benefits really areThe whole goal really is to bring them back to a state of regulation so that they can cope with whatever it is they're going through and have the resilience to be able to keep going with- Yeah.what they're going through.And, you know, ideally, the outcome is that they, they have a more pleasant hospital experience, and that they actually feel okay- Mm-hmm.with whatever it is they're going through.And I think it's great toI think it's all great, but I think it's great to teach them to acknowledge that all of their emotions are valid.I mean- Mm-hmm.you know, s- so many of us adults, and like, through no fault necessarily, but so many of us adults, I know I grew up sort of entering my 20s kind of almost getting stuck in and shifting, but almost getting stuck in like the toxic positivity.Like, I'm not useful to anyone unless I'm positive, and you know, and then it becomes this sort of trap, because it means that nothing else is being acknowledged.So everything else is still being experienced and building up.But it teaches them that, you know, it's- it'sHis frustration, for example, and his anger is a perfectly valid response.You know, it's perfectly valid to feel angry about something that happened to you that wasn't your fault, but now you still have to deal with.absolutely.And that's so powerful.it is.And you know, one of the tools that I take into the work that I do, whether that'sin a hospital, or my one-on-one sessions, or the classroom, is, um, the Ianto Institute have the emotions wheel.And so, it's like aI guess you could describe it as a pie chart, if you haven't seen it visually, with the big sort of main emotions in the center, you know, happy, sad, angry.And then from there, the next layer is more subtle and nuanced, and then the next layer is even more subtle and nuanced.And so, that can really help particularly tweens, so those in between children and teenage age- ages- Mm-hmm.and teens, to give them new vocabulary of how they're feeling, because sometimes, those sort of big broad brush strokes don't really cover it.Yeah.And, you know, teaching emotional intelligence then allows them to be able to articulate how they feel, but then also, Well, what do I need?And th- and that's really where regulation comes in, is identifying, How do I feel?But then, What do I need to feel good again?Yeah.Cause- cause once they identify it, they're a- they're more able to actually give themselves what they need, rather than just feeling horrible or feeling off or feeling, Ugh.You know, whatever that is for them, but not actually being able to then tend to it.It's just this continual feeling of, Ugh.Yeah.But without naming it, it gets harder to be like, Oh, if it's anger or if it's frustration, then it's, Oh, I know what I can do, or what usually helps me, and I'm learning because of you.You know, they're learning these- these tools of how to handle that emotion.Yeah.So it's not explosive.It's- it's useful, and then it's, Oh, if it's thisIf it's morose, it's, Oh, I know how to- what I need, when what usually helps me just feel tended to, in that experience.Yeah.And, you know, e- we can do this from such a young age.With my kindy-aged children, um, I go into the kindy classroom with, like, a little flipchart.And it has, I feel angry.And then you lift the flap up, and underneath is another feeling.Yeah.So it could be, I feel angry, but underneath the anger is jealous.I feel jealous.Mm-hmm.And so, then we talk about, I feel jealous because they're playing with the toys that I wanted to play with.Yeah.And I wanna play with those toys.And then the next one might be, I feel angry, but I actually am hungry.And so then it's like-Do you need a snack?You know, hang- being hangry is a real thing.Call me up.Right?And it's funny.I was doing this, um, an activity with a teenage girl who's my one-on-one client, and she saw that page in my little bag of resources, and I said, Oh, this is what I teach in kindy.Have a look at it.Mm-hmm.And she went, Oh, I can relate to this.Mm-hmm.So, you know, even as a teenager, she could say, This really resonates for me as well.That when we say, I'm angry, there's usually so many other things underneath it.And if we can make that age-appropriate, we can be teaching these lessons from such a young age.Hmm.Yeah, definitely.I mean, it helps.Like, I'm mid-30s, and it helps.It's like, oh yeah, if I'm feeling a little spiky, it's like, have IDo I need to eat?Genuinely, do I need to eat?Do I need to just have a little, have a little food?And- and like, oh, cool.That's fine.Mm-hmm.Give it 15 minutes, and then I can make decisions again.But, uh, yeah, it makes such a difference.Um, so cause you work with nurses.Like, you teach nurses and educators these things as well, and- and that comes back to the co-regulation and giving them the tools so that it's not just the kids in- in your context.It's not just the kids kind of, um, battling the fires on- on their own.They also have, you know, grown-ups i- in- in these cases, around them, that are aware of- of- of that language and of that experience, not just from a professional context, but f- from your context of that emotional intelligence and the naming and- and helping them through that.That must make such a difference toWell, it makes a difference to anyone.But it much- must make such a difference to kids when they have those, like, multiple points of grown-ups in that experience that are kind of clocking that at the same time.Yeah, and that's definitely the aim, to be able to have these kind of practices and principles and knowledge spread as far and wide as possible, because- Mm-hmm.as a calm fairy, I can't be there all the time.But if I can share some very simple things with the adults who are with those children all the time, the parents, the nurses, the educators, then that means that they're still getting the support that they need.And you're- Mm-hmm.right.Children learn a lot through modeling.So the more that they see this from multiple adults in their life, the more that they can embody that.And that's really where regulation does become self-regulation.It's through- Mm-hmm.continued embodied experiences, repeated over and over again, that then lead to us eventually being able to do it by ourselves.Hmm.Yeah, that makes sense.Well, speaking of, what is the Calm Fairies app and what can people use it for?The Calm Fairies app has a couple of different levels.So at the base level, it's got just some really lovely meditations and some breathing activities and some, uh, like craft and mindful activities that children can engage in when they're in hospital, but really, they could do it anywhere.That, that first base level is, is, it's free, and it's beautiful, mindful activities for children to help them to feel safe and calm in whatever environment they're in.Mm-hmm.And then the next level, which we're still building at the moment, is more about specific medical conditions.So it might be, for example, um, breathing for someone who has asthma or some- Mm-hmm.gentle yoga poses for someone who has digestive issues.Um, we've got some beautiful meditations there for children who have, like, a broken arm or a broken leg, beautiful, like, baby bird with a broken wing meditation.Aw.Um, yeah, things that just really help children to connect- Mm-hmm.in with some regulation tools while they are in hospital, and to have it delivered to them in a child-appropriate way and in a way that still feels quite delightful and enjoyable so that they can feel like children when- Yeah.when they're doing those activities.And it also sounds like, especially for the free level, but, you know, even in certain contexts for the, for that m- more medical level of it, it also sounds like it would be useful for parents- Absolutely.to sort of learn that, like, just vicariously almost, but to learn that.Yeah.Absolutely.And, you know, the tool is there so that parents can say, I don't have these skills myself, but here, let's hit play and do this together.Yeah.And yeah, you're right.The more that the parent practices that, the more they will then be able to do it without the resource.Yeah.That's- Mm-hmm.amazing.And people can find that in app stores?Yeah.So that's both in the App Store for Apple and the Google Play Store.Awesome.Yeah.Yeah, and it's simply just called Calm Fairies.I love that.So this, I mentioned this, this is a question that I ask at the e- like, at the end of most guests, or ev- every guest from here on, I guess, if I can.Um, what's an area where you feel like there's room for improvement for you or where you wanna develop next?Yeah.It's absolutely delegating and asking for help.Yeah.Yeah.Um, because I'mYou know, I'm boss lady for 2 businesses, and I have a, a small team of people who help out with things, but there's still that pattern in me that's like, I'll just do it myself.It's quicker- Mm-hmm.and easier because I've done it a million times, and it's- Mm-hmm.just easier than me explaining it to someone else.Um, so I definitely am still needing to improve on delegating, but I am getting better at that.I love that self-awareness though.It's like, oh, it's, you know, this is what's gonna help me feel better, but also then lead better and, and lead these 2 businesses that have such an impact on the world even better, because then you have the resources in yourself to, you know, avoid that overwhelm yourself, but also, then have that impact, like giveI don't wanna say give more as if, as a depletion, but regenerate more so you can give more- Mm-hmm.for that impact.Mm-hmm.Yeah, definitely.Where do you feel like you are doing really well at the moment in these ways?I feel like I'm doing really well at putting my big girl pants on and taking some bold action and taking some big steps that normally I would wait and think, oh, I need to get more things in place first- Mm-hmm.or I need to wait until X, Y, Z.Mm-hmm.And now, I'm really like, You know what?Time is short, and this is the legacy I want to have for my life, and I'm not getting any younger.I need to really start building out a team and getting more people involved and getting this really widespread, thisYou know?Mm-hmm.I really want Calm Fairies to be widespread so that there is a Calm Fairies resource in every children's ward, in every hospital, initially in Australia, and then eventually worldwide, because I believe in it so much.And so, if that is the vision and time is ticking by so quickly, it's like, the time is now.You just have to take action.So yeah, it's- There's no ready.There's just doing.Just do it.Yeah.Just do it.And I think what I've learned over 20 years of, of running businesses is that you learn along the way, and people show up along the way to support you and help you in the ways that you need.So if I can be bold and brave and say, I'm doing this now."then the people step in.So for example, for Calm Fairies, I know that we need more fairies on the wards.So, and I've had lots of people inquire about volunteering, and I just went, okay, I've- Hmm.talked about a volunteer program for a couple of years.I just need to get this happening.And so in the last few weeks, like today, I had a meeting with a lawyer to help get some of the legal side of things tied down and, um, with the volunteer coordinators at the hospital to say, Right.What's the next step for training and compliance?And now all of a sudden, it's happening.Yeah.So-taking bold action is definitely- I love that.um, where I'm at at the moment, and it doesn't mean I'm not scared, and it doesn't mean I- I don't feel like am I biting off more than I can chew?Mm-hmm.But it means that I'm able to grow in a way that I otherwise wouldn't if I just stayed safe and in my little, my little circle of comfort.And- and that's- I was about to say, like, that's you leading by example because that was my next, like, little follow-on question was, Oh, do you still have a reaction to that, that then you use tools to help you, you know, to help you navigate?And then, like-we lead by example in all of these different ways.We don't have to be in certain situations or settings to- to demonstrate that, even if it's quietly in our own experience.Yeah.Absolutely.And, you know, I think sometimes we get in our own way, so if I can keep moving myself out of the pathway and say, This is greater than me.This is not about me, ego Stacie Louise, person.Yeah.This is actually about the legacy of Calm Fairies, and if I can allow the energy of Calm Fairies to flow through me, and I'm simply the- the- the channel for that, or the guide for that, the person who brings that to life- Mm-hmm.um, then it's not about me anymore.Mm-hmm.And once I can step out of it being about me and being about something bigger than myself, that's when it feels easier to- Yeah.take those bold actions because IYou know, I think about so many of the children that I've supported, and I think it's a disservice to them and other children who could experience that if I block myself from expanding this program.Hmm.So, you know, I just have to keep thinking about the ways that it can impact so many more children's lives and- and the adults who support them.Yeah.And then it becomes easier to say, I just need to do this.Just take action.Let's go.Oh, this is- This is great.I'm cheering so hard.I'm just like, keep it cool and calm and collected for now, but this is, this is great.This is exactly what liter- like, and I don'tThis is not cliché in the way I'm saying this, it might sound it, but this is literally what the world needs more of-because it's for kids, but it's also for adults, like, who- Yeah.experience that directly or vicariously, but then it's also for the future and how people function in the future as well- Yeah.and how they grow up and then how they, uh, you know, it's- it's got such an impact.Yeah.Um- And we're- we're living in a- in a world that has never existed before now.So the things that we used to do as kids, or our parents used to do as kids- Yeah.they simply don't apply to this current world.So, I think it's so important that we do continue to evolve with the circumstances that we're in, and the children of today are facing stresses that we never had to face.Mm-hmm.And, you know, their little nervous systems are just so bombarded constantly with stimulus.Hmm.So I think it's even more important now than ever that children have some support in how to regulate themselves, and that has to come back to the adults.Yeah.Being able to regulate themselves so that they can co-regulate.Yeah.amazing.All right.Well, where can people connect with you, support your work, I don't know, sponsor something, even sign up to one of your trainings?Where can they do all of that?And I'll include the links, but yeah, let us know.Thank you.So, calmfairies.com.au is the hospital program, and that is to find out more about the Calm Fairies volunteer program, or to be able to find out if there's a Calm Fairy in a hospital near you, and to also find out the details about the app, and their free videos and resources to help kids when they're in hospital.And then if there's parents or educators that want to get some just short, quick, easy tools within some online courses, you can find that at inspiredkidsyoga.com.au.Amazing.Thank you so much for sharing and for your time and your energy.I adore you.I'm so grateful for you, and I love that you are just bringing this work to the world more and more and more, 'cause it makes such a difference.Thank you, Jess.It's always a pleasure talking with you, and thank you for giving me the opportunity to share, and for all of the amazing work that you're putting out in the world too.Thank you.Well, we finally got you here, so I'm happy.Finally happened.Yeah.Thank you so much for having me.